Dealing with stress

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buy Lyrica 150mg tablets **Coming soon my latest book:
The blessing in disguise…. revealed**

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

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The battle between my heart and my head

The battle between my heart and my head.

Sleep eludes me…. I toss and turn….
My head feels like it’s been spinning all night long. I wake and it as if you’re still with me, that we are still walking on the beach…
I still smell you… Thoughts cloud my judgement, am I dreaming? I can still hear your laughter in my ear, the way you looked at me, the way it was so natural to put your arm around me when we walked, the ease of you calling me beautiful yet again.

There is a battle between my head and my heart, each fighting until the death. My heart tells me one thing and my head screams another.
Yet, isn’t this is what you always wanted to hear? But can you believe this? Is there a something else that he wants? Is he telling the truth? Can you even decipher between the two of them?

You knew that you shouldn’t have met him, you knew that this only leads to trouble and heartbreak. How could you forget all the times you cried yourself to sleep, all the times you cursed his name, all the times he hurt you to the core yet just seeing him made you weak in the knees…made you forget everything that he’s done, all the fights you had.
This crazy unexplainable love that you feel for this man that somehow you can’t shake as much as you try, you can still feel that soul connection…when he’s in your presence you lose all control.

As much as you hate yourself for even remotely beleiving him…when he is standing there with your face in his hands, saying all the right words…. he missed you, he messed up and he wants a life with you. That he will do anything for another chance, that no one is you or could ever be you and how he has never been able to shake you and he’s willing and able to step up this time.

All the words if you’ve been longing to hear that you want to believe but how could you trust? How could you trust him you can’t even trust your own heart?

You so want to give him another chance, despite the fact of what all of your family and friends will say…
And your head spins yet again…
God….you thought you were done with all these feelings, that you moved on…and then here he is singing Charlie Wilson’s song Chills in your ear…and in a second your transported back to a being a teenager…”Got me feeling like a kid again…you give me chills”

I want to scream….I want off this ride…I can’t think, I can’t breathe…this battle goes on…I forget everyone else…
I pray for clarity but even if I get it will I listen? Will my head be able to take down my heart?
Am I strong enough for yet another heartbreak? Will I ever be able to recover from another one? All while thinking maybe he has changed…maybe his words are true….maybe this time…maybe…this time we will make this work…

I can’t think straight, my head is spinning and I am holding on for dear life…
I stand here waiting for the battle, the battle between my heart and head.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

**Coming soon my latest book:
The blessing in disguise…. revealed**

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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Fight the good fight

Fight the good fight

We know we are not suppose to fight with humans yet this bible verse tells us to fight…
This is a daily fight… and it goes on, all through our faith journey.

Paul was saying fight the good fight…
For the true faith….
But the weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world….
It’s about the spiritual fight, we all are engaged in a fight in our lives but we are fighting with the wrong weapons.

No matter how big your giant is, I that is coming at you, you need to know what weapons will work to defeat him.
David took up a sling shot and stone because he couldn’t use the weapons that Goliath gave him..
But he knew the weapons he needed to use to defeat him, even if they seemed like the wrong ones, David knew what he needed to win.

You are in a position to win in life, but you are in the wrong fight with the wrong weapons.

You need to fight the good fight, you need to let the spirit renew your thoughts and attitude.
Stop telling lies, don’t let anger control you.
If you are a thief, use your hands for good work.
Give generously to others in need.

Don’t use abuisve language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encougement to those who hear them.

Don’t bring sorrow to God’s holy spirit by the way you live.
Get rid of all bitterness, anger harsh words instead be kind, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Some of you are so fill of hate and anger, You don’t know how to forgive and let it go. You will never win the fight while you are doing all of these things.

So today my friends remember, fight the good fight for the true faith, know what weapons will help you win. Be kind, speak well of others, don’t lie and cheat, forgive and let go of hurt.
These things will make you grow stronger and will teach you how to always be ready to fight the “giants” in your life.

It’s about fighting the good fight…
Fight, fight, fight for the life you want, the love you want, the job you want, fight when the world is coming at, when you get knocked down time and time again….fight…. never give up.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

**Coming soon my latest book:
The blessing in disguise…. revealed**

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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My thoughts about Facebook

My thoughts about Facebook

The last 4 years I’ve have had a lot of changes in my life and because I write this blog everyone knows all about my life. I have to tell you, some of the responses have brought me to tears, the support and the love I have received on Facebook is overwhelming and I truly appreciate it.

When I got approved for my new home and finally went to closing so many of you reached out to me, telling me how proud you were of me and how far I’ve come. For someone who for so many years was put down and belittled, he told me constanly that I could never do anything on my own, your words were music to my ears, as some times I still hear his words in my head. Yes, I really did this, all by myself, all of it the remodeling, the moving, all of it was me and me alone.

I have reconnected with so many old friends that I have lost touch with and without this platform would likely have never found again. I reconnect with my first best friend Cookie, through her cousin on here. My dear cousin Carol, many high school friends like Hassina and James that I have missed so much and the most recent reconnect, my dear friend Gino. We were the Mod squad growing up
(If you don’t know what I’m talking about it was a popular Tv show in the 70’s Lord, I can’t believe I am explaining this)

We lost touch 25 years ago and even though I search for him for years, it was this platform that brought us back together again.

I don’t have anyone who isn’t my friend or family on my Facebook page, I don’t need a million people on my page just the important ones.

I also keep up with family that is spread out all over the county, I get to see their kids and grandkids, I am still part of their lives even though we don’t get to see each other often.
This is a great thing, you can give support and encouragement to someone, you can be happy for their victories and feel sorrow for their pain. You can make them laugh and laugh when your down just by seeing their posts.

You can get messages and send messages, it makes you feel like you are there with them.

It can make you feel less alone when you think no one understands, you can stand up for your beliefs with others and realize that everyone had their own opinion and that’s cool too.

People talk bad about Facebook, they say it’s a breeding ground for cheating yeah, because no one cheated before Facebook, get real!
Yes, you can find more people but you can do that online as well. You don’t want to know everyone’s on goings, okay don’t read them, people you don’t like are on there, that is what a unfriend button is for, use it.

For me Facebook is a community of people you chose to be in your life, to share your good times and have support for the not so good times. To keep in contact with loved ones and find long lost friends. It is a platform for great things if you chose to use it that way.
Look I write my blog on here every day and I actually help encourage people with my words. How amazing is that?

So today my friends, use Facebook like you would real life, if you want to catch up with someone go for it, if there is a negative person, cut them out of your life, if you don’t want to hear someone’s crap, block them, it’s easy but it all starts with you just like in real life.

To all my Facebook friends and family, I want you to know how much I appreciate your love and support, thanks for always being there for me, I love you all.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

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My life should be #thisshitcanonlyhappentome

My life should
#Icantmakethisshitup #Thisshitcouldonlyhappentome

Yes, sometimes I have to  laugh at all the stuff that happens to me. When I tell people, they can’t believe all that crap can happen to one person, yeah I feel the same way and it’s my life.

So many people only see the amazing in my life, the trips, the parties, the fun life I lead, that is because I don’t whine or cry about the stuff that comes at me. I don’t go around and say “oh poor me, this happened, that happened, my life sucks”
No, I deal with it with a smile and I keep going along with my day. So of course you think my life is a bed of roses obviously minus the thorns you don’t see.

But if you are truly my friend you know the crap I’ve dealt with throughout my life and even recently, as the storms have been coming fast and hard at me.

These last few weeks alone, I lost my job, my client owes me 1,800, my daughter who’s bills I’ve been paying for the last 5 months while she’s been unemployed refused to help me when my car broke down and I threw her out.
I broke my ribs, my identity was stolen yet again and my computer crashed…
Again, this shit can only happen to me!

Yet through it all I was in a state of peace, I’ve spoke before about asking for peace recently as I have been off balance, I’ve have been stressed, I’ve been mad and angry and really not myself, I hated that feeling, see even through all my bad times, I’ve always had my peace but recently it was gone and I needed it back.

This last year while being incredible has also been trying… I had my heartbroken, I ended two  friendships, one with who I thought was my “Guardian angel” because of the  money he owes me, the other because “I was spiritual enough” whatever the hell that means.

I lost my best friend at 52, I had my identity stolen.
I’ve been working 12 hours a day for months trying to help my daughter without a job pay her bills, my house was broken into while we were on a cruise, which took me months to pay for and all my daughter and her best friend did was fight on.

I had my house flooded and my cars busted from the hurricane and I am still fighting the insurance company for the money….yes, it’s been a hell of a year…

But I chose to focus on the good things, the trips, the friends, my church and my church family, the good times…hell if I didn’t tell you, you would have never guess I was going through all of that.

And this is why people talk about my faith, how can I still have faith when all that crap is coming at me? It’s because I know God has me, this is just a test for my testimony, this is making me stronger, teaching me lessons I need to learn.

Lessons to never give up, to keep believing even when I can’t see the sun. It has taught me to be grateful for all I have and from where I’ve come from because as bad as it is, I know what worst looks like.

Yes, I am human and sometimes I have a pity party, I cry and ask God Why? When will it be my season? But in the morning I put back on my big girl panties and stick that smile on my face and grab my faith again while I walk out that door to do another 12 hour shift.

See one day I will be telling this to the world, to millions of others who might be going through the same situation and don’t think they can make it, one day I hope to inspire others to say if she can do it, so can I.
To show others that it’s okay to show that your human, to make mistakes, to fall on your face and pick losers. That doesn’t make you a loser that makes you a survivor! It makes you a teacher, a person who is not afraid to inspire others with their failure.
That my friends, is a real living, breathing human being.

So today my friends remember even when your life seems like a sitcom, even when your thinking #thisshitonlyhappenstome
There is always tomorrow…
The sun will always shine after a storm. There is always a testimony from your test…you just have to laugh your way through.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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Sometimes life can be overwhemling

Sometimes life is overwhelming

Even though we live in a world full of technology today and so many things are so much easier than it was years ago, it has also made things harder in some ways.

Women have to be supermoms, superwives, super work force women, we have to have it all, big important jobs, perfect lives, kids in every sport and activities imaginable, we have to keep up with the Jones and we have to look like barbie at all times while doing it all.

I know how hard it is being a single mom of two girls, I own my own home and all the repairs and maintenance that goes along with it.
I work 3 jobs,
(I do professional organizing, I do hair at night and I do personal assistant work)
When ever possible, I do focus groups to make extra money.
I also do this blog on 5 different sites and on every social media site known to man, 5 days a week. I do a weekly you tube video which I have to make, edit and put out, I am at the gym 5 mornings a week at 5:30 am and I go to church 2 days a week and volunteer whenever needed.

On top of all that I writing my second book which took almost another year of my life, now comes the hard part, editing, designing the cover and self publishing with all the joys that come along with it.
Throw in there dating…if you can call it that…yugg…

Then there is life, car breaking, computer crashing, people stealing your identity, problems with your kids, clients owing you money and losing a huge chunk of income.
When life comes at you, it comes hard and fast, knocking you to your knees at times.

Dam I am tired just writing all of this! Yes, there are some days I have no idea how I do it all as I know you out there feel this as well.
We beat ourselves when we don’t get it all done, if our houses aren’t spotless, if we snap at little things because we are at wits end most of the time.
We try to be perfect, try to be superwoman when we are all just human.

So today my friends, here is my advice…let go… I’ve  learned to let it go, it’s okay the house wasn’t clean, it’s okay that I had a list as long as my arm of errands, that things aren’t the way you expected them to be but I chose to look at my blessings, I chose to be grateful, I chose to go spend time with people I love, life is too short, the world is not going to end if our list is not done, if there is dishes in the sink.

No, enjoy the moment, live in it, live big, live well. Laugh often, be present, enjoy and feel grateful for every second you have…it is not a guarantee that you will get another.

So take off your super person cape, throw it out the window, turn up the music, sing at the top of your lungs and smile big…believe me the dishes are not having as much fun as you are!

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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Age is just a number

Age is just a number…

I remember reading last year that Christie Brinkley posed in Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue at 63! Yes, you read that right, 63 and it was the third time she made the SI cover.

See, age is just a number there was this video I posted on my Facebook page about a women who was 94 and she did this incredible dance routine that most 40 year olds couldn’t do.

When I did my triathlon I was  passed… Okay, I admit, blow away by a lady that was 69. How did I know her age? We all had them written on our calfs and as she blew passed me that is all I saw…Hello I was 49 and thinking… look at me until granny blew me out of the water.

I have a client that is 102 and is all together, there have been older women who do marathons, who are in way better shape than even I am. There is even a Guinness record holder for the oldest women body builder at 80!
Hell, when I went sky diving at 40 there was a mother, daughter and grandmother who jumped with us, she was 78!

I plan is grow up to be like them, that grannie who’s on YouTube getting down at a wedding, or breaking records for my age. Yes, I am not planning to go quietly, with regrets about things I should have done and didn’t.

I will never say I’m too old…I feel like I’m 25, I still exercise 6 days a week, I ride a bike on the weekends at the beach, I will try anything to keep my body and my mind from getting old.
This weekend I hiked for miles up the Georgia mountains and yes, I date men much younger than me because they can keep up with my active lifestyle.

I will be doing this until I coming to a screeching halt into my grave screaming…what a amazing frigging ride!

You decide what you can or cannot do, your mind is the most amazing organ we have, it can do and overcome anything. Men have survived Pow camps, people have survived concentration camps, famine, unimaginable things and still had the will to live and still had the most incredible outlook on life. Look at Anne Frank, Ellie Winsel, Dr. Martin  Luther King…people that never gave up and even in the darkest times, still held on to hope.

So today my friends, remember age is just a number you tell to yourself to set limits on yourself. Remember there is nothing you can’t do if you set your mind to it and believe.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My new book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

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You read my blog..you really do

I can’t believe you read my blog…you really read it

Along time ago Sally Fields won a Oscar and in her speech she said “You like me, you really like me”
She was amazed that she won this most prestigious award and that people liked her work.

This is the way I feel every time someone comes up to me or writes me and tells me that they read my blogs.
My girlfriend said last night as another person had just told me this “Why are you surprised? What do you think you just write them and put them out there and no one reads them?”

Well yeah…kind of, I don’t know, I guess I just write them and hope that maybe somebody will read them and maybe it would help them but yes, every time someone says this to me I am surprised.

I am surprised my girls young friends read my blog, I’m surprised my older clients read it, hell I’m surprised anyone is a loyal follower as there are so many others out there to read and follow.

I am definitely surprised that men read my blogs because in the beginning I thought that I was just writing for women, to get their voices back but I guess I’m just writing about life and that affects everyone.

There is nothing that’s off-limits for me to write about, love, racism, dating, problems with your kids, life coming at you, work issues, I write about life and that affects us all and so I shouldn’t be surprise but yet every time I am.

I am humbled as well because again there are so many amazing writers out there and your time is precious, so to spend your time reading my stuff humbles me.

I try to be as transparent as I possible can as I know what an expert liar I once was, lying about how happy I was, (I was misrable)
That my family was perfect (we were a dysfunctional mess)
That I loved my husband (I hated him, he was my warden not my husband)
Yes, my whole life consisted of lies and I swore that I would never live that way again. So yes, I put it all out here, the good, the bad and the really ugly for everyone to see.

I feel if I am real, if I am having these problems and issues, I know that there are other people out there going through the same stuff as well.

Maybe you can learn from my mistakes, maybe you can feel like your not alone, maybe if you see me getting through it, you’ll know you can too. Maybe just maybe I can be an inspiration to someone’s life and that would be fulfilling my God giving purpose here.

This is why I do this every day, 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year for the last 4 years because I am called to do it, not for the likes, the pat on the back or for the followers, it’s what I am called to do.

So today my friends, my followers and my readers, thank you, thank you for taking the time to read my stuff, to watch my videos and to send me your comments, I am so grateful to all of you and so very humbled.
I hope to keep doing this and one day soon do it full time, for a long time to come until one day, I no longer think I can’t believe you read my blog, you really read it.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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The most famous failures

The most famous failures

I know there are times when we all feel like failures, when we can’t get anything right, when our dreams look too big to ever achieve.

But I am here to tell you, you are in good company of failures, many, many people who changed the world failed and failed big before making it.

Thomas Edison failed over 10,000 times and he said
“Why would I feel like a failure? There are over 9000 ways a light bulb won’t work”
He never gave up, some of you give up after one time, two times maybe a few of you will hold on to three but then your outta there. He tried 9,999 times before he got it right, that is determination, that is about never giving up on your dream.

Colonel Sanders was 78 when he made the world’s most famous chicken.

Walt Disney is truly a man who knows the difdeence between winning and losing, it is not ever giving up.
He never gave, every failure was oppunituny to try again.

He was fired by a newspaper because they said he lacked ideas, ha now isn’t that funny? The most creative man in our lifetime lacked creativity…
No, the people who refused to see his, lacked creativity.

Sometimes it’s other people’s small minds that can’t see or imagine your big dreams, your job is to ignore them and keep the faith.
There are so many failures on this list for you to look up to:
Steve Jobs, JK Rowling, Micheal Jordan, even Albert Einstein and Abraham Lincoln failed many times, so believe that your are in good company.

You see all of these people had one thing in common they would never gave up, they never took no for an answer, they never stop believing in their dream and that their dream was going to come true.

That’s all you need in this life, you need a dream to hold on to, you need a dream to believe in and you need the faith and confidence to believe in yourself even when all others do not.

You need a can do attitude and a Fighter’s mentality, that no matter how many times you get knocked down, you will get back up and keep trying until you win that prize.

I write this blog everyday and some days I’m more confident than others, some days I’m human and I cried out to God, “When when is this going to happen?”
See but I don’t ever ask God IF this is going to happen because I know it’s going to happen, I just don’t know when.
I will never give up, no matter how many years go by, this will happen.

When I started thinking about how long I’ve waited, I look at these people, because some of them didn’t start their careers until much later in life, after many rejections, many broken hopes and knockdowns yet they still held on and that’s what I have to do.

Do you know how many times people have laughed and said “You’re in the second half of your life, you’re never going to be a New York Times bestselling author, be on Oprah Super Soul Sunday or have Tlyer Perry produce your life story, you’re too old to start another career or your dream is way too big, there is no way it I could happen, how is that going to happen? How are you going to do that?”

And that’s when you have to do what you have to, cut off the nay sayers, walk away, blocked them, they have no idea that you can and will be the next big thing. You have to hold on, you just have to believe in yourself even when no one else does.

Who’s telling you you can’t do it? These people don’t know your faith, your belief in yourself, they don’t have your fighters heart.

You are never too old to get started, to start over, to inspire, to change the world.

You cannot move forward if you keep looking back.
One of the main reasons we don’t go after our dreams is fear
Fear paralyzes you.. it keeps you stuck, only your inner strengh will get you through.

So today my friends remember you can do anything, you are not a failure, you my friends just have a vision, a dream that is way to big for others to see or grasp, so to them, it’s impossible. Keep going anyways, never give up…you have big footsteps to follow, of the most famous failures.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Home

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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What I’ve learned during the fast

What I’ve learned during this fast.

We fast every year, on the first week of January. We do this to thank God for all he’s done for us the previous year and to start the new year with renewed faith and to put out there what we are expecting for this coming year.

See fasting is about breakthrough, it’s for you to seek God, to become quiet and hear God’s voice, but don’t get this twisted this is definitely spiritual warfare, we are starving the physical man and feeding the spiritual man during this time and they are fighting each other to the death.

We are not made to feel uncomfortable, to suffer, to hunger. We want things easy and fast, we want to hear him now! But we must sacrifice to show him that we are serious to give back, to stop our crazy lives and put him first.

We are looking for more of God…less of us…
Its about turning off the TV, not going on social media, not talking or gossiping just focusing on him and his word.
It’s about saying I am not going to give up… I will sacrifice in order to grow.

You need to trust God…what battles are you fighting?
What prisons are you locked up in?

Poverty
Depression
Fear
Ego
Pride

These things keep you down, they don’t let you grow, your so worried, so afaid that ypu become stuck, you forgot your purpose here. Don’t get distracted from your blessings, don’t let your blessings pass you by because you refuse to let go, because you have to be in control.

I can tell you prayers works…God’s already addressed every area in your life, I love this verse:

Psalms 23
He is our Shepard and we lack not…he leads me besides the quiet still waters, he refreshes my soul…he prepares a table for me before my enemies
Ye though I walk through the shadow of death…he is with me.

I fear nothing, I stress nothing I feel peace in a storm because I know he has me, this is what prayer does for me.

God will create  a situation before you so that when he gives you the victory you will never doubt it was because of him! He’s guiding you through every step of your way

“You will succeed in whatever you chose to do and light will shine on the road ahead of you”

These are the three things I’ve learned from this fast:

1. Don’t get distracted by temporary situations

2. Never start or end your day without praying to God

3. Believe in yourself

So today my friends remember you can’t keep holding out your hands asking for things without giving something back…this is my way to give back, this is the time to learn lessons, this is the time to hear his voice so that you may start off 2018 strong!
Let’s make this the best year ever!

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

***Now available***
My new book The blessing in Disguise
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