I follow my heart when I date

I follow my heart when I date

Recently someone asked me what was my type was in dating. I said I no longer had a type and they were taken back and said everyone has a type.
He may have been right, at one time I did have a type. I liked tall, dark, good looking Italian men, maybe it was a daddy thing, minus the tall part.

But we all change and grow, we all liked things years ago that we may not like anymore. Look when I was a teenager if you were cute and had money to treat me for pizza you were it. Then it was if you we’re cute and had a car, in college it was if you were hot and popular and could get us into the club’s or good parties. After college I was looking for someone to settle down with, who would be a good supporter, a good father and husband. See the cute and hot part changed for responsible and hard working.
But now I’m good, I pay my own bills, I can take care of myself so my wants changed again.

Now it’s not about looks, (Okay, we all have thing’s we like, for me it’s eyes and lips) but that’s not the end all, be all in my decisions. It’s not about how much money you make, it’s not about what clubs we are going to, thank God I’m  way over that, it’s about who you are in your soul.

To me it doesn’t matter what color you are, how tall you are, (as long as you are taller than me in heels, we are good)
It doesn’t matter how much money you make, I make my own, it’s about if your kind, if your funny, compassionate, if your a man of God, if your a family man. It’s about the important things that make you a decent human being.

Yes, I’ve dated black men, White men, Spainsh men, Jewish men, Catholic men, shorter men, tall men, young men and older men, see none of that matters to me anymore.
All that matters if you are a good man.

Wow, imagine if the whole world operated like this, we could get rid of racism. If we just judged a person on his or her heart, not on anything else.

That is how I live my life, I  don’t see color, I dont see age. I’ve had a relationship with a man that was 20 years younger and we could talk about anything for hours on end. Age didn’t matter when your soul connects, when you have an undeniable attraction and you click.

These are things others have a problem with,  others have issues with. Back in the day when my mom was growing up not only didn’t you date out of your race and your religion but also you never dated out of your own rationality.
My mother’s aunt married an Irish man and the family disowned her. My mom for 18 years never told me she was half Puerto Rican because when her first true love’s family found that out, they made him break off their engagement. She was so brokenhearted she changed her name and lied to me for 18 years about who she truly was. How sad is that?

Growing up I didn’t date black men, maybe that’s why I stuck with Italian Guido men because of my mom’s beliefs but when she passed away and I got divorced, I realized those were her issues and not mine. The first guy I dated when I got divorced was an amazing younger black attorney, who is still a great friend to this day.

Thank God we have come along way since those days but there are still some people out there who need to say something about differences in age or race or religion between couples.

Look the heart wants what the heart wants, the heart doesn’t see all of that nonsense, only small minded people do.

So today my friends remember this is your life, do you, follow your heart. Date who your heart wants, who your soul connects with, what differnce does it make, we all bleed red in the end. Do like I do in life and in dating and follow your heart, it will never steer you wrong.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

**Coming soon my latest book:
The blessing in disguise…. revealed**

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Http:// see url www.treadmilltreats.com

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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The pivotal point

A pivotal point

We all come to a point in our lives, a cross roads, the pivotal point where we need to make a choice, a decision that will change our lives forever.

We need to make good decisions that will glorify God, we need to realize our decisions are attached to our outcome.
See there are some oppunitunies that will only come once and once it’s gone, it’s gone.

This is why you need to be intentional about what you do, be intentional about what you speak.
Make this moment count, do not take this moment lightly, be intentional, don’t be foolish in wasting this time.

Aren’t you too old for drama? For foolishness? To play around? You may only get one more chance to get it right.
You decide how you are are going to move ahead, you decide to change your life.

In the bible God’s way is always best, the only way. Yes, you may be fighting the spirit of evil around you, in your family, in your workplace, in your finances, in your relationships and if you think your going to fight all of this on your own, your wrong.

God saw what you have done, he saw the destruction that is taking place and he is trying to let you get it right. Some of you think you can go back and get a second chance,  and so many have had second, third and fourth chances.

God is saying “To whom can I give warning, they can not hear, they don’t want to listen to God, I am tired of holding it in.I will pour out my anger on them to make a choice I will raise my fist at the people”

We all have pivotal point in our lives where you must choose which way you must go but we need to talk to God, to ask God which is best for you. Go with him, let him cover you, even if you don’t have it together. Here’s the thing, some of you fixed yourselves up then you act like you don’t know him. After you asked for his help and he gave it to you, then you act like you did it, like you don’t owe him the praise.
We have a last chance to recover what the enemy has stolen from us, we need to pick a road, we need to make a choice to honor him.

“Stop at the crossways and look around ask for the old, godly way and walk in it. Travel it’s path and you will find rest for your souls” these are God’s words, these are God’s promises to you.

In this day people refuse to honor him, to give it to him.
We need to stop at the crossroads, we need to:
Look around
Reflect on the past
Rejuvenate your spirit
To have preservance
To stop and access what you did in the past and make it right.
If you walk outside of his word you will never get it right.

When you walk in his word he will transform your life, but this moment requires you to walk in the ways of God. He will bring completeness in your life and that is how you make the moment count.

This message may be for you if you said enough is enough.
When your tired of making the same stupid mistakes your making over and over.
When you stop letting people use you!

Your best answer is no!
(Lord knows this message is for me! And that I needed to hear it)

When you tune out the distractions and listen to what God has for you, regardless of how you’ve been wronged, how no one has apologized to you, how hurt you have been, it is then that you must come to an understanding and you must pick a path you have to take.

Choose the right path, this road less traveled. Yes, it may be hard but good things are not easy to obtain.
So today my friends remember this decision requires these things:
It requires deaciation.
It requires study.
It requires commitment.
It requires prayer.
It requires fasting.
It requires you giving it up and giving it over to God.
If you do these things, if you make this choice, you can change your life.

Make this moment count… We may never get this moment back, we may never get another chance so change your life now. This is your pivotal point.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

**Coming soon my latest book:
The blessing in disguise…. revealed**

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Http:// source www.treadmilltreats.com

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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Unlucky in love

Unlucky in love

If you read my blog you know that I am blessed and I say it all the time. I have a wonderful life, I have my faith, great kids, amazing friends, a church and a church family that give me support. I have business I love and a God given purpose in writing…with this blog and my books.

But the one thing I have never been lucky in, is love…
Yes, love has eluded me for many years…
We all have had a love of our life, mine was my first true love but since then I have been in love but not like that.

I thought I was in love a lot of times, but it turned out to just be infatuation, it turned out to be yet another wrong decision.

I seem to fall in love with men who are broken, men with issues, men who are unattainable. This is when I fall the hardest, when I think…I can change them, with my love and patience, they can be the man God called them to be.
Yes, so many of us believe that, as women we are nurturers, we want to care for the broken, we want to be needed.

Why? I ask myself, why do I go after these types? When I did all the work for myself, when I fixed what was broken in me.
I took the time, I put in the effort into becoming whole, so why can’t I go for someone who has also done the same.

I think when will I find a good man? How many more heartbreaks do I need to go through? Will I ever be lucky in love?

Yes, even though I am motivational speaker, I write an inspirational blog and I am the most positive person you will meet, I am also human…I also get down, I hurt, I cry at night…I am like so many of you out there reading this…

For the most part, yea, I am that positive person and I know I will have another chance at true love. I know that I didn’t go though all I’ve gone through not to have a happily ever after.

I know that I must kiss alot of frogs till I find my Prince…
I know that the second half of my life will be way better than my first half. That I have fought too long and hard, I have sowed too many seeds not to have my harvest.

But sometimes when you are going through the storms, you can’t see the rainbow. Sometimes you think, this road is too hard and too long, so maybe I should give up.

I would but I am that prize fighter, I am Rocky, who gets knocked down, beat up, who is half dead but is still pulling himself up on the ropes. He has heart, he is not giving up, no matter how many times he gets knocked down.

That is me…I will get knocked down, I will see things fuzzy for a while, I might think there is no one out here, that things look hopeless but as soon as that fuzziness is gone and I can see clearly, I will grab on to the ropes, I will pull myself up, I will keep fighting, I will keep believing that I can win that true love is possible.

After all I am Tinker bell…I believe in fairy tales, in happily ever afters…I believe my Prince is out there. Trust me, I have not kissed this many frogs not expecting my Prince.

So today my friends, know that there is hope for you, for me…know that even though you may have picked wrong time and time again, even though it feels like there is only frogs out there. Oh hell, lets be real… not just frogs but toads out there.
If you never give up, if you work on you and not settle for the next toad because you are lonely, because your afraid you won’t find another one. If you know your self worth, if your set against settling, know that I am with you.

We have each other, we have a wonderful life and if you don’t get one! Read my pasts blogs to find out how to do it.
But don’t give up, there are plenty of great men out there, I know as so many of my friends are great men.

Remember nothing worth having is easy to come by…so keep kissing those frogs and know that one day we will no longer be unlucky in love.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

**Coming soon my latest book:
The blessing in disguise…. revealed**

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Http:// source site www.treadmilltreats.com

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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Freedom, it means so much

Freedom, it means so much

Fourth of July and we think about a day off, the beach,  Bbqs and hanging with family and friends but it’s not about all that, it’s about our county’s freedom.

It’s really about all kind of freedoms, freedoms to be able to speak our minds, to choose who we want to vote for, who as of late, we want to marry. Free to do and say many things people in other countries cannot do or say.

For me freedom means alot, being in a verbally abusive relationship for twenty four years, it means I am able to be my self. To say what ever comes out of my mouth, even if I sound like a sailor!
It means I have my own ideas, my own friends and I no longer have walk around on eggshells.

Freedom is so very sweet to me as I know how it felt to be a prisoner, to look outside wishing and praying I was free yet not having the strength to leave that terrible situation.
I cried every day for God to end my suffering, yet every day I awoke next to my captor.

Until one day the pain was just too great and it over powered the fear I felt.
I stood up and said no more, I must be free at any cost because I cannot breathe. I was dying a slow and painful death. I want to live, more than anything, I wanted to live and laugh and feel joy in my heart!

So I stepped out on faith, I changed my life, I made myself happy. Can I say its been a easy road to joy? No, it has not but I can tell you how sweet peace and joy feels like now I am no longer looking out that window wishing I was living that life.

I am living it, I am living my life large and free! I am stepping out of my box doing things I never thought I could do and it is amazing.
I did not do this on my own, God has brought me here and then carried me when I thought I could no longer make it. He believed it for me, he knew the end result, I just followed and believed.

So today my friends remember if there is any of you who are in this situation today, declare your self free! Make today be your own fourth of July. You can do it and it is so much better than you ever dreamed!

My thanks to all the brave men and women who risk their lives to keep us free…

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

**Coming soon my latest book:
The blessing in disguise…. revealed**

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Http:// www.treadmilltreats.com

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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Change your thoughts, change your destiny

Your thoughts equals your destiny

Did you know that we have 60-70,000 thoughts a day?
Yes, that many and 90% of them are the thoughts we thought of yesterday.
So basically we are thinking 90% of the same shit every day.

That means if you tell yourself your stupid, your useless, your never make it, you’ll never find anyone,  your not good enough, all in one day, those thoughts will keep running through your mind day after day after day.

So if you believe your thoughts are your destiny then your life isn’t going to change very much.
The same choice
The same emotion
The same result
Just like that saying, “Nothing changes when nothing changes”

It is up to you to change, change your thoughts, your attitude, your outcome.
You just need to reprogram your brain, just like you would reprogram your computer.

You need to fill it with positive thoughts
I am worthy
I will do it
I am powerful
I am fearless
Once you replace the negative thoughts with positive thoughts, it will be those thoughts you will think over and over 90% of the time.

I know what it’s like to think I am worthless, I can’t make it, my life sucks, it’s a spiral downward into depression, self doubt and even suicidal thoughts. Every day I felt this way, every day I dug a deeper hole I fell onto.

Until one day I said enough! I am done feeling sorry for myself and I want a change, I need a change because I was dying. It wasn’t until I became sick and tired of being sick and tired that I did it.

My change was helped with my belief in God, but whatever your higher power is or even if you don’t have a higher power and your mind is your higher power, you too can change.

I started by putting post it’s notes on my bathroom mirror that said I love you, you are worthy, you will do it. I did a vision board of all I wanted and desired in my life, how I envisioned it. I went to sleep and woke up dreaming about what I wanted. I started mediation and would see myself in my new life, in my own home, down to what it would look like, how it would feel, it was so real it would make me cry. I could see it, feel it and almost touch it, it was so real. For 4 long years I did this and yes, there were times I was discouraged, but I didn’t give up. I would have a little pity party and then I got up the next day and went right back to thinking those thoughts of my new life.

I am no one special, just a women, a wife and a mom who lost herself, who let a man control her, who hated her life, maybe like so many of you, who are in the same situation right now.
I decided to do something about it, to change my thoughts and it look at me now, it has changed my life and it can change yours too!

So today my friends remember you can do it, you are the master of your destiny, you control your mind, your thoughts, and if that is the case then your amazing thoughts will equal your amazing destiny.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

**Coming soon my latest book:
The blessing in disguise…. revealed**

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Http://www.treadmilltreats.com

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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Even when I can’t see the change, I belive

Even when I can’t see change, I believe

People think just becuse you give your life over to Christ that magically everything will be perfect. Ha! That’s the furthest from the truth, if anything your life will get harder.

Yes, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but your life will not be perfect. The devil will throw stuff at you from all angles, he’s trying to break you down, he’s trying to make you give up, to lose faith, to stop believing.

Yes, I know I have wanted things, prayed for things for so long and so many of those things have not come to pass yet. Did you hear that? They didn’t come to pass yet…
I know he is a big God, he can do anything and he is not a man that he shall lie so I know it is coming. It might not be on my time, it may not be how I want it wrapped up but it will be in my best interest and usually it is way bigger than I’ve dreamt of.

But my part is to keep having faith, to keep believing, to keep praising him even when I am not a good Christian, even when I screw up and believe me I do all the time. But he is a forgiving God, he has mercy on my human soul and keeps giving me more chances than I deserve, more chances than I would give another person, if we are being honest here.

My job is to hold on, to tell of his goodness, to hold on to that tiny mustard seed of hope if I have to, but to hold on and know he will take care of this…whatever this may be.

Yes, I have big dreams and believe me I know the verse faith without works is dead, and I am working this bad boy every day and yes, there are days I am tired. I can taste all I’ve asked for, I can see it, feel it, I know it’s coming even if it feels like it’s not, I have faith.

I think there must be more lessons I need to learn, more time for him to get things together on my behalf, there must be a lesson in the wait.

I am human, I cry, I ask when God? When? I want it now, I think I deserve it now, why isn’t this coming? Yes, I even think look their not Christian yet they are being blessed and I do everything you ask of me and yet I am still here.
Okay, if your Christian and say you don’t say that or feel that way sometimes, you are lying. We are all human and we all have our breaking points when we think we can’t make it, we’ve been knocked down one too many times and while we are laying in our own self pity, we question God.

It is not for me to question, it is for me to just believe.
Maybe he’s testing my faith,  maybe he has plans I don’t know of or see. Maybe I need to just be patient.
I remember as clearly as if it was yesterday, laying in my bed in this horrible verbally abusive marriage thinking when God? When? I can’t hold on, I dreamt of my own home, I dreamt of peace and joy even if I had none of it during this marriage. I had big dreams, dreams of my own home, of my business, of having a life filled with friends, a home filled with laughter and love. Every night I would close my eyes and picture this life right down to what my new home would look like. Even though I was in hell, I believed one day he would provide all of this to me.

And he did and more, much much more. All I did was believe it was possible.
So today my friends remember have faith, be grateful for each moment you are in now, no matter how painful it may be. Because one day soon you will look back and be grateful for how far you’ve come, for what he has done in your life and to know it was because you didn’t give up, because even when you couldn’t see change, you believed.

“Be the change you want to see”

“And just when the caterpillar thought his life over…he turned into a beautiful butterfly”

**Coming soon my latest book:
The blessing in disguise…. revealed**

***Now available***
My book The blessing in Disguise
Selling on my website:

Http://www.treadmilltreats.com

And on Amazon.com

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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