When you don’t listen to the signs

When you don’t listen to the signs

On the anniversary of a friends muder, I remembered the day I heard that was she was murdered by her estranged husband. It was so sad, she was young and beautiful and always fun and now she is gone.

She is my second friend to die this way. I lost another friend years ago when even though she had a restraining order against her police officer boyfriend he walked into a bar back home and killed her in front of everyone. 

I was on my way to meet her but forgot something and was running late when I got there. She was gone, again this was another beautiful, kind, funny woman gone because of who she chose. 

I will never stop trying to tell women to look for the signs, there are always signs!! The biggest one is inside of you, it is your gut feeling, you know something is off, yet you poo poo it away. 

You justify it, you make excuses for him and his behavior or you’re so afraid to be alone that you don’t care as long as you have a man, even when all the red flags are smacking you in the face. These women weren’t stupid by any means, no we are women, we want to see the best in people. We want to try to help men change, we want to believe they can change,so much so that we turn a blind eye to things we would rather not see.

There are always signs, he is too jealous, he wants you all to himself, he tries to get you away from your family and friends. He thinks you’re screwing around, he always needs his ego stroked, or he is narcissistic and a control freak.

Are you listening? These are signs! Are you changing to please him? Doing things you wouldn’t ever do before? Again signs, pay attention if something doesn’t feel right it’s not!! 

Please don’t think he will change his behavior. Oh he will change, for the worst, you can believe that. 

Cut your losses and run now before it escalates and a tragedy like this happens. 

Here is  some startling statistics:

3 women are killed each day because of domestic violence!

One out of every 3 women will be abused at some point of her life

33% of people know a woman who has been domestically abused. 

We need to talk about this, we need to know the signs, we need to teach our girls to see the red flags but most of all we need to know our self worth. We need to love ourselves enough to not put up with this crap from the start! 

Know you are a beautiful, smart, kind woman of God, that you are a blessing and should be treated like the diamond that you are, you are priceless!

So today my friends reach out to someone you know, let them know you’re there for them, teach them the signs and let them know their worth. 

This is dedicated to my dear friend Pammi

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