02 Sep The up and downs of friendship
The ups and downs of friendship
If you know me or follow me you know that I have had the same friends all my life. Friends since I was five years old, and that’s a long, long time. Okay, no comments from the peanut gallery.
I have all kinds of friends, all colors, all religions, all sexual orientations. My friends look like the United nations and it has always been like that. In school I was friends with the Jocks, the stoners, and the nerds. I was friends with the older kids and the younger kids, I was friends with everyone.
Now in order to keep and maintain these friendships for so many years there is a secret formula. Yes, I said a secret formula, it’s called forgiveness. You have to be willing to forgive your friends because hey, we are all human. We all make mistakes, we all screw up, and yes, sometimes we even say the wrong things, all of us. Imagine that?
The second portion of this formula is accepting people for who they are. Whether they are a bullshit artist, or they keep picking the same wrong men, or they drink too much, whatever it is, you just accept them for who they are.
The thing I ask myself is does the good outweigh the bad? Have they always been there for you? Have they been good friends? Can you trust them? Have you had more good times than bad? These are the questions I ask myself about these people. So even if they say something stupid or eat on my last nerve I am not quick to walk away. Why? Because hell, I’m far from perfect and I screw up too. You don’t just walk away from a friendship over a few disagreements. If that was the case I wouldn’t have any friends left now. We’ve all had arguments, we all disagreed with one another, we all said things out of anger or frustration but bottom line, our friendship is more important.
Over the years I have cut off a few friends but trust and believe they handed me the knife. Friends that were toxic, negative, or who stabbed me in my back. Friends who I just couldn’t hang out with because they didn’t help me with my addiction. Yes, there have been a few friends that I had to let go of for my mental health. The last few years a few blocked me over politics which is a shock to me because it’s politics and not a lifetime friendship but whatever I will not beg you to be my friend. It is obvious that I have a lot of friends for a reason, so if you can’t get over the fact that we have different political views and that makes you walk away…see ya!
I also realized that some were closet racist and they said and posted such horrible things that it made my stomach turn. I can not be friends with a person that feels that way and I knew that they had to go.
But even all these years later there haven’t been many. I always try to see the good in people, to realize we are all human and therefore not perfect. I don’t understand people cutting off friendships because one person said something to hurt their feelings. Or they didn’t invite you to something or they started talking to someone you commented once that they were hot. Things like that aren’t that important in the grand scheme of things.
Hello! Aren’t we adults here? Tell them, if your butt hurt, let them know.
Recently a friend did something that hurt me and yes, I was pissed. I told them to their face that what they did was shitty and I was hurt. But I also gave them a chance to explain or apologize, I did not just cut them off. I don’t understand how people can do that without even sitting down and speaking to them, without trying to save a friendship?
I honestly don’t understand that and I guess that’s why I am a rare breed with so many friends for so many years because I will let a comment go. I will accept you for you, I will fight for our friendship. I am a friend for life, a ride or die friend, a be there at 3 in the morning friend, I am not walking away just because you said something stupid, come on.
So today my friends remember not everyone knows your story. Not everyone has your back. Not everyone is a great friend but when you find friends who are great, remember it’s like a job, you have to work at it. You must have give and take, you need to be open to accept them for who they are and to forgive them for their faults. My world is so much sweeter with my friends and don’t we all need some sweetness in our lives?
Be the friend you want to have…
“Be the change you want to see”
@Treadmilltreats “Be the change you want to see”
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