My most incredible blessing turns 27, and this is my message to you.

I have always felt blessed even as I was going through my horrible childhood, I felt God’s hand in my life.

When I was 21, the doctors found out that I had endometriosis, and they told me they wanted to do a hysterectomy on me. They said it didn’t matter because I wouldn’t be able to have children anyways, but I had this crazy faith even back then. 

I knew I was going to have children. There was nothing more important in my life than to have a child, and I knew that God was going to make this possible. Fast forward years later, I got married, and we tried to have a baby for 5 years. I went to specialist after specialist, and they all said the same thing: that I had too much scar tissue and it would be a miracle if I did become pregnant.

I finally got pregnant and had a miscarriage. We were crushed, but I kept praying, and then that miracle happened, I got pregnant again. You wanted to come out right from the beginning. You were crowing at 7 months, and I was put on bed rest. No moving except to go to the bathroom, I have to tell you that this almost killed me, as I am always on the go!

But I wanted this baby, you, so I did what I was told, including waking up every 2 hours to take my medicine. After 15 trips to the hospital and too many sleepless nights of worry. You came into this world 2 weeks early. My incredible blessing was born on this day December 17. Twenty-seven years ago at 10:48 a.m., weighing 5 lbs and 5 oz.

I can’t tell you how happy I was to hold this miracle in my arms. God blessed me with a healthy baby girl. We named you Victoria Lauren after your dad’s grandma Virginia and my dad Louis, and you were perfect and still are in my eyes.

I look back and can’t believe it’s been 27 years already.

I can remember as if it was yesterday, your first day of kindergarten as I cried as I walked you to your class. I remember being your room mom, taking you to dance classes, and cheering you on. I remember baking cookies with you while we did your homework.

So many memories of the park, the parties, and the beach. Memories of teaching you how to ride a motorcycle, play poker, and all the laughs making lasagna with all of your friends in the house or singing off-key in the car.

I remember as you got older how you became the voice I didn’t have against your dad. How you would stand up and tell him that he was treating me so badly. I can never forget how many beatings you got for telling the truth. How you would eat your dinner in seconds because you knew he would start with me, and when you would stand up to him, how you would get punished and sent to your room without eating, so you learned to eat fast.

These times, I would fight with him not to punish you or beat you, and then I would get a verbal lashing for days. These were not happy times for us, and I am sorry I was not stronger for you, but it made our bond even tighter. I prayed through your teenage years as you were wild and hanging with a crowd I didn’t like. You were tough on the outside yet have this huge heart of gold.

You pushed me away, yet I held on tight. I told you all the good you had inside of yourself, all the things you could and would be, and all the things you didn’t hear from your dad. I knew you were a chosen child God had placed here for a reason, and I was always going to be in your corner.

You were the one who told me to leave and be happy. It was because of your words that I had the courage to leave. Together with your sister, we made a new life, and yes, God answered my prayers. You finally straighten out and now you are an incredible young woman with a smart, streetwise head on her shoulders.You are not only beautiful on the outside but just as beautiful on the inside and I am so proud of you and this life you will be embarking on.

I want to give you some advice I wished I had learned earlier. I want you to know that worrying will not change anything and that you are still young and have your whole life in front of you. Do not worry about getting married and having kids. All that will come in time. The time right now is for you to explore the world, to find out who you are and what you want. You already know that you are a self-sufficient woman who is smart and street wise. Who can take care of herself and can do anything you set your mind to and that my dear, at your age is priceless.

Do not stress over things you have no control of. Let go and let God. He has you just as he had me all these years. Things will come in time, his time, not yours. 

I cry as I write this because I know you will do big things with your life as you are a survivor. You know your worth, and I know that you will never settle for less as I have. You have seen your fair share of pain in your life and have lost way too many people in such a short life, and that has made you realize that life is too short. You need to make the most of every moment.

But all of this that you’ve gone through has made you the wonderful woman you are today. Always remember that God only gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers, and you, my love, are strong. 

I love you so much, there are not enough words to express my love for you.

So I will tell you to soar…

To fly on the wings of the angels that keep you safe and that first put you in my arms. You are meant to soar my child.

I will always be here cheering you on, always ready to hold your hand or for a shoulder to cry on if you need it.

This is just the beginning of your incredible life….so live it large! Live it on your terms, and always remember to dance to the beat of your own drummer!

With all my love,

Now, always and forever 

Mom

“Be the change you want to see”

@TreadmillTreats