09 Dec Making the effort in dating

Make an effort in dating

I love that saying “Be with someone who would drive 3 hours just to see you for 1”
To me that says it all, that is someone who is making an effort and at this point in my life, you better be making an effort not just doing the minimum. If you follow me you know all about my dating horror stories and yes, I’ve had quite a few.
But because of that or despite that, depending on how you look at it, it has taught me a lot.

It has taught me what I don’t want, what I refuse to put up with, and when to walk away.
I use to hold on, I would make excuses, I would put up with crap because of the age-old excuse “Oh, He loves me”

Well, I’ve learned that if he really “loved” you, he would put your feelings over his own.
If he “loved” you, he wouldn’t keep hurting you when you’ve clearly told him about the things he does that hurt you.
If he “loved” you, he would man up to try to make it work.
He would make sure you knew how much he loved you. He would drive 3 hours to see you for one. He would make you feel loved so that you wouldn’t be thinking about what he is doing and with who. He would make sure you felt secure, make you feel that you were worthy and that you are his queen.

But so many of us are settling for crumbs. We are letting these men come to the table with just their dicks. That’s it, just their dicks and trust me some of them can keep that shit as that is only about them as well. Come on ladies, you know what I am talking about right?

What did you expect? If they are selfish in life of course they are going to be selfish in bed. Yet we take it. Why? Because a bad man is better than no man? Because we are so broken we think this is all we deserve? Or because we are waiting for that wonderful con artist we fell in love with to come back? He’s gone, that was an act to get you and now that he has you, you’re never gonna see that other brother again. Unless of course, you start smarting up and then he will bring him back for a repeat performance to woo you back in.

We need to learn our self-worth, we know what we bring to the table so why are we settling for the first dick?
We need to fix ourselves so that we know this. We need to build a life that is fulfilling with or without a man.
Look, I want a man, I don’t need a man, big difference.

So today my friends ask yourself, are you settling? Is he worthy? What does he do to make you feel like the Queen you are? And will he be willing to drive 3 hours just to see you for one?
Because if he’s not, you deserve better.

“Be the change you want to see”
@TreadmillTreats