Surviving the holidays

Surviving the holidays

This time of year is wonderful, the weather gets cooler, people seem nicer, and it’s a season of peace and joy. We actually hear of kind acts, and it warms our hearts.
Yes, it’s all of that and more, but let’s be real here. It’s stressful as hell. You have to figure out where you’re going to get money for presents, for food, you have to go and see relatives you don’t like, or entertain a house full of people who might not be appreciative.
You might be alone or maybe with someone who you no longer want to be with. You might have bad memories from seasons gone by, there might be a lot of things going on, and for a lot of people, this is definitely NOT a season of peace and joy. 
Recently, I was getting stressed, I work a lot, 12 hours a day most days, and I was thinking how was I going to do all of this, get everything done in time. 
Hell, I can hardly get the normal things done, like cleaning my house or putting my clothes away, and now add shopping, wrapping, grocery shopping, making the sauce, and then lasagna, shells and more! Where the hell am I going to find time for all of this? 
I also started thinking about Christmases of the past and how much I miss my family, my mom and dad, and the other people who are no longer in my life, and I started to get sad. Life changes… ready or not, like it or not, this is life. Yes, it was all getting to me.
So I decided I have two choices (see there is that choice thing again) I could wallow in my sadness, stressed out, not looking forward to the holidays or wishing they were over already or I could decide that I can’t do everything, if some things aren’t perfect so be it.
That even if this is not where I thought I would be, or that I can’t change or bring back the people I miss, so I have to do what I tell all of you, I have to be present in the moment. I have to remember all that I am blessed with, I have to be happy and grateful as it could have been another way.
I have a home, I have my girls, I have a business I love, we have food and money for gifts. I have family and friends who I love and who love me. I have a support system in my church and my church family, I have faith… I have so much to be grateful for.
Yes, I may not be where I thought I should be, I may not have everything I want, I may not have all the money in the world, but I do have peace and joy.
Anytime when I stress or when anxiety gets to me, I remember how far I’ve come. I remember all the past Christmases that I didn’t celebrate, all the tears I cried, the years when I didn’t think my life was worth anything, and I was planning on ending it. Yes, who would have thought what a few years would do, how it can change everything. 
It is that that brings things into perspective for me. God kept me here for a reason, my girls need me. I have a purpose, and even though I might not think I am where I am supposed to be, it is where I need to be now. There are lessons I still need to learn. 
This keeps me going, look I know it might be tough now, you might feel alone, you don’t think you have the strength to survive one more day but you do, you have it in you. You can’t imagine how your life can turn around in a second. In one day, everything can be different.
So today, my friends remember you have the power to change things, and for my change, I decided to yet again open my home up to any of my friends and family. Hell, I even posted it on my Facebook page, open door policy, come on over to my house, bring a chair and your appetite because I know how hard the holidays can be alone or with people you don’t want to be with. Let me tell you, it was wonderful. To give fills your heart with joy.
So remember you can change, you’re not perfect, you don’t have to be or don’t have to have everything, you’re stressed, so change… let it all go….live in the moment, be grateful for even the small things, the bigger things will come later, its okay, you will survive and you will survive the holidays as well.
** I know this is a tough time of year so I will be putting this number out there for all that needs it…I have been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the holiday season, there is help, it will get better…I am living proof of 
“This too shall pass”
Please get help. Call today:
National Suicide Hotline: 24/7
1-800-273-8255
“Be the change you want to see,”
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