Ever see that quote on social media with the cartoon character saying, “When I look back, I can’t believe how much shit I’ve been through.”

Well, that about sums up my life.

I look back and think damn… how did I survive? How much crap can one person go through and still have faith. Still see the good in people, and still have a heart that is full of love. All I can say is..but…God.

I remember not too long ago before I broke my arm, I was coming home from the gym. I did 16 laps in the pool and had a great sauna and steam room. It was a great workout, and I felt great. I had a spring in my step and was singing to myself. It was just one of those great mornings where you feel good to be alive.

Riding home, the sun was coming up, and it was a magnificent sky. I was listening to Kirk Franklin’s song Over. If you don’t know it, it goes…. it’s not over, if you got air to breathe it’s not over…get up cause it’s not over…you’re a fighter…with strength from somewhere above. You’ve been here before, but you made it… even when your enemy turns out to be your best friend…it’s not over.

I pulled up to my home to see it all decorated in Christmas lights, and I sat in my driveway and balled like a baby. Why, you ask? Because I know where I’ve been and how far I’ve come.

I know the bottom and am so grateful for all I have now, so much so that it brings me to tears all the time. I am here to tell you I am glad that all of that happened to me. It was to make me stronger. It was to believe in something I couldn’t see. It was to teach me never to take anything for granted.

It was to give me this gratitude that I feel each and every day when I walk into my home, into a client’s home, or into the gym. 

I know the blessings I’ve received… this home, this business I have. I am grateful for this body that can walk every day and is healthy. Even though I had this broken arm, even when the storms are coming at me, I am still grateful. I am grateful for my girls, my family, and my friends.

I have peace and joy that I could have never imagined.

I have no stress or worry, as I just trust God now. 

Trust and believe, I take none of this for granted, and I am so very grateful.

So yes, I am glad I’ve been hurt. I’m glad I was raped. That I’ve been lied to and cheated on. I’m glad I went through a 24-year verbally abusive marriage. I am glad I had a drug and alcohol problem. I’m glad that I hit rock bottom more than once because I know now where my strength comes from.

These things taught me lessons like forgiveness, it taught me humility, and it taught me courage.

I know I will survive that no matter what comes against me again. I will stand back up and fight against it.

I will come back time and time again because that is what a fighter does. He never gives up, no matter how tough it gets. He keeps fighting because he knows the prize is going to be amazing, so amazing that it will take your breath away and bring you to tears.

So today, my friends, if you think I can’t do this, if you think it’s too hard, or that you want to give up, look back at what you’ve already been through. Look how far you’ve come and know that you can do it. They may have knocked you down, but you’re not out for the count. One day, you too will say, “I’ve been through a lot of shit…I survived, and I am blessed.”

“Be the change you want to see,”

@TreadmillTreats 

** I know this is a tough time of year, so I will be putting this number out there for all that needs it.

I have been there, and I know how dark it may seem, especially during the Christmas season. There is help, and it will get better… I am living proof of “This too shall pass”**

Please get help. Call today:

National Suicide Hotline: 24/7

1-800-273-8255